Here and now.

These last few weeks have been great. There has been a lot to do, what with interviews, job, practice, games and what not, but many thought bubbles have surfaced and grown in to ideas and realizations which I can make good use of. In some cases I have simply gotten some points about my view of floorball strengthened which always feels good!

I attended a course in motivational leadership here in Göteborg, held by a french former football player called Cisse and he went on to talk about how to create a healthy environment in the team, the difference between a coach and a leader, the importance of educated staff and much more. He also mentioned that to be a football instructor in France you have to take a course in leadership, no matter who you are. Yes, even if you are a famous football player. Good move France! They have understood that a person can be an absolute expert in his/her sport and at the same time have no idea how to teach other people (especially younger people) how to play and think in a good way, how to make everyone feel included and how to take care of the collective needs of the group and those are vital things, especially at a young age.

Picture by: Jonatan Stålhös (http://jonatanstalhos.blogspot.se) from Målvaktsfokus Goalie Camp in Norrbotten earlier this year.

He also brought up the assignment of leaders in different groups and that a very common view is that the leader of a very young team doesn't have to be educated, just be there and hold the group together and that older teams need much more competent leaders. Well, he is right when he says that younger people need very competent leaders around them to help them grow, but we want to take care of our players all the way through their career, right? That means that on no level can there be leaders who aren't properly equipped for their task and that we have to make a bigger effort to educate leaders within sports (not just in floorball), because they have an essential roll in these kids' lives. I know that we all have that one leader or teacher that we will remember forever, because they had such an impact on us.

Unfortunately the sport is still very small in most parts of the world and even here in Sweden there are way too many parent-coaches who have taken it upon themselves to lead a team simply because their child plays in the team. While this is a great thing to do and while it is better to have a parent-coach than no coach at all, we should be doing more to recruit and educate leaders to ensure that they have the tools they need to take care of the players properly.

Very recently I saw a goaltender break down after giving up 7 goals in one period. She dropped her helmet to the floor, sat down and pulled at the back of her hair in pure disappointment and after the next goal, they switched goaltender and the second she stepped off the court and on to the bench, she started crying. While a leader was there to comfort her when she stepped off, it is obvious that she hadn't been taught how to deal with defeat. She stayed in the net and beat herself up when the opponents scored, there was no active coaching coming her way and eventually she broke down, partially of disappointment but also because of a lack of support.

I have spent time crying on the parking lot after games when I was a kid because I had no tools to help me deal with disappointment or defeat, the only thing I could think of was how I had let my team down. Luckily I had my parents' there but as we know, we don't always listen to our parents in our teen years... I needed someone to teach me how to get over things like this. Unfortunately that never happened during my years as a goalie, I had to learn that on my own and that didn't happen until recently.

I want to win. I always want to win. Regardless of if it's a practice, a real game or a practice game, I want to win and I want to improve as a person, as a coach and as a goaltender. I want my teammates to hate playing against me at practice and I want them to love playing with me and I will never step on the court without doing my best. I think this is a good way to go about practicing as long as you are prepared for what happens when you aren't on your best and what happens when you don't win. As long as you can handle defeat and disappointment and are prepared to take the hits only to get back in the net with the same mindset the next practice, you will improve.

However if you set your mind on being awesome at the next practice or on winning your next game without being able to handle it when things "go south" it will create a negative cycle which will stop you from progressing.

'Here and now'

After many years, I finally found the three words to help me handle defeat and disappointment: "Here and now."

Anytime my mind starts to wander during a slow practice or a very easy game, anytime I give up a goal that I shouldn't have I simply stand up and say to myself: "Here and now." This is because the practice or the game isn't over yet and the ball that got past me is now completely irrelevant and the only thing that matters is the next shot or the next situation. I want to win, I need to win that next situation and if I don't, I will reset my mind with these three words and I will repeat this process as many times as I need.

This is my reset trigger. We are all different, but I believe that very many people will benefit from finding their reset trigger early on. The earlier the better actually!

Find your own way to deal with defeat and you will succeed.

Peace!